I don’t write that much on here about personal stuff. But when I think about this I still can’t really understand it.
We talk about society and the affect it can have on people, their self esteem, body image etc. But it was always really hard for me to imagine an actual person that will say things purposefully to make people feel bad about themselves. That’s what I don’t get, I don’t understand what goes through a person’s mind to make the decision to do that.
There’s one example that I always think about. Imagine walking back to school and a guy drives past, with the window open, and yells at you to pull your skirt down because he can see your “fat legs”.I could make two points with this, 1) why are you telling me to change the way I dress 2) Why do my “fat legs” bother you enough for you to go out of the way to tell me?
Another thing that I guess bothered me enough to write this was that a status from a girl I went to school with. Basically of how they laugh at the profiles of people “that were in you’re year at school. a few years past by and now for some fucking reason they seem to be proppa full of themselves thinking there drop dead gorgeous :L no hunny. your a batty. and always will be lmfaooo!”
Knowing this person they probably weren’t really thinking about what they’re saying. But in a way it’s like, she feels a person doesn’t have the right to think of themselves as “drop dead gorgeous” or have any self confidence. They can’t see themselves as attractive because she thinks they aren’t and therefore they never will be.
It kind of affirms any insecurities I had in high school. If I was constantly comparing myself to others, then others were thinking things about me, or just thinking who was “a batty and always will be”. What does that even mean, who uses the word “batty” seriously
So I genuinely do feel sorry for people still in that environment where they’re surrounded by anyone like that. The point i’m trying to make is that when you say something like that, it can affect someone for life. I think about what if that guy just drives around yelling at any girl that they have fat legs, how did they take it. Like what is he doing right now. Does he have any idea that some girl he yelled at 4 years ago is still really affected by what he said. I’m not the only person with an unhealthy relationship with my body, but when do something stupid or unhealthy those guys words are like a reassurance that I have to do it. It’s like, before I used to think, what if other people think i’m fat too, after that I just thought of that guy, and assumed everyone else felt the same way.
Wow this was long. And it won’t make a difference, but I guess the point I’m trying to make is just don’t fucking tell someone they’re fat. Even as a joke. Don’t purposefully make someone feel bad about themselves for any reason. Even though you’ll forget about it, there’s a chance it’ll stay with them for years.